If i come over, it means nothing
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
