what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
