if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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