Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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