sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
