I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
