i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
