I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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