He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
