fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
