Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Randomize
