I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
