This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Can you bring me the toilet please
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
