how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
