It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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