i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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