New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
