Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
