turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
my nose is crying tears of wow.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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