Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
