You're my little dorito
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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