garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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