first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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