Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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