my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
