I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
