My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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