Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
