he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Randomize
