Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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