yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
