marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
