And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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