At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
