i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
