you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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