Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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