My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
