last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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