But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
