I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize