Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
