There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
