So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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