Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
