Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
