is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
