But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
My first STD was from a foam party
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
