p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
