Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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