Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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