Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
