Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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