Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
