oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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