If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
